A Bad Career is Like a Bad Relationship: Is It Time to Get Out?
Copyright (c) 2007 Transition Dynamics Enterprises, Inc.
Have you ever been in a bad relationship? You aren't happy.
Your partner doesn't respect you. You can't do what you
want for fear you'll be criticized. You feel stifled and
stuck.
You dream of moving on, but you really don't want to leave
because there's some comfort in the fact that you are
familiar with your situation. Even if it's neither ideal
nor pleasant, at least it's something!
It's likely you are having an ongoing conversation with
yourself about whether you should stay or go. Some day's
you are 100% stay....other days you are100% go. But more
often than not you find yourself vacillating from one
answer to the other several times during the course of your
day.
Because leaving a relationship takes so much effort and
determination, you may spend a lot of time convincing
yourself to stay. Perhaps you are saying:
"It's not that bad."
"I think things will change."
"So and so looks like they are changing...I'll hold on a
bit longer to see what happens."
"I just need to try harder and everything will improve."
"I won't be able to find anything better."
"I should be happy with what I have."
"Who do I think I am? There are many people in the world
who are in a situation that's not ideal. I need to just
deal with it."
All of these statements are signs that you are settling for
something that's really not working for you. You have
resigned yourself to the fact that you can't be happy. You
have lost touch with the fact that you have the ability to
create a life that really works for you.
How Does This Relate to Careers, You Ask
With just a few word changes, everything in the previous
paragraphs applies to people who are in jobs or careers
that don't work for them.
Generally people who are frustrated with their work feel
that they can't be themselves at work. They may not feel
respected by individuals in the company or the company
itself. They worry about what they can do and what they
shouldn't do.
It's often difficult for people in bad relationships and
bad jobs to come to terms with the fact that they are in a
situation that's not working for them. They do whatever
they can to convince themselves that the difficulties are
temporary and will turn around in the near future. In fact,
they often search their surroundings for any small sign to
prove this is true.
Unfortunately, one sign that a partner or a work situation
is improving isn't enough to turn the entire situation
around. Just because your boss acknowledges you or provides
you with the resources you need to do your job, doesn't
mean the job is suddenly a good fit for you. Just because
your company adds a new benefit that gives you a bit more
flexibility or provides you with better health insurance,
doesn't mean the job is working for you.
For a job or career to work for you, it needs to meet four
key characteristics.
1) You need to be able to be fully yourself at work.
2) The job needs to support you in living the life you want.
3) The work environment needs to support you in being both
productive and satisfied.
4) The work you do must tap your passions and interests.
If your workplace forces you to be someone you aren't, if
your personal life is squeezed out by your work life, if
your work environment limits you, or if the work itself is
boring or unbearably stressful, your job is NOT working for
you.
Now What Do You Do?
As soon as you can acknowledge that your job isn't a good
fit for you, it's time to explore your options. This is a
tricky time because it's so easy to be swept back into
believing you should stick it out, work harder, or settle
for what's going on at work. Don't let your guard down! You
deserve to have a job that works for you personally and
professionally.
Even if you can't make a change immediately, begin focusing
your time and attention on what's DOES work for you. This
is the first, critical step in creating a career that works
for you. You must gather as many clues as you can about who
you are, how you want to live, and what you love to do. To
do this, ask yourself these questions:
What are you drawn to?
What topics interest you?
What skills do you like to use in your work?
What lifestyle do you want to have?
What work environment supports you and your life?
What is your innate personal style?
As you begin answering these questions, don't worry about
how you are going to tie all this information together.
Just gather as many clues as you can. Start by recording
the information you collect. Then when you have at least
forty items listed, begin looking for themes and patterns
in list. What have you learned about yourself and how can
you leverage that information into a great career.
Although this process may take some time, don't get
discouraged. The time you spend discovering and
understanding yourself and your needs will allow you to
make good, solid decisions as you step into your future.
You'll not only be able to evaluate new job possibilities
(and even new relationships) with more confidence and
clarity, you'll be able to use this new sense of yourself
to keep yourself out of unworkable jobs and relationships
in the future.
