Cheng Cheng Tan
 
 
 
How To Build Confidence In Your Child
I believe that the most important thing a parent can give a
child is confidence and self-esteem. All the degrees and
certificates are useless if a child lacks self-confidence.
With self-esteem, a child will be able to try new things
and venture out on his own. He will not be easily
influenced by others because he knows what he is doing is
right.
 
On the other hand, a child who lacks self-esteem will be
constantly seeking for approval by his parents and peers
before he tries anything new. There is fear within him that
he may not be accepted by others around him.
 
Here are some tips to build self confidence in the child:
 
- Encourage the child to do things on his own. It does not
matter even if he does it wrongly(as long as he is in a
safe environment). The most important thing is to let him
try and he will definitely gain confidence after gaining
some success. He will gain confidence and want to try out
more and do more. He becomes aware that he can do more if
he tries and my even make some mistakes.
 
- Focus on his strengths and not his weakness. It is
understandable that as parents that we want the best for
our children. However, we have to be aware that every child
is special and different. Though Mathematics is very
important, the child may not like it at all. Instead of
forcing him to sit down and listen, try to incorporate
Maths with something that he likes e.g. music. This will
lower his resistance towards learning Maths and he may
think of better ideas to learn maths with music too. You
never know how creative they can be.
 
-Praise your child when he does something well. Children
are constantly looking for approval. Parents are usually
critical because it is easier to point out mistakes. Just
be aware and remember that children (just like anybody
else) prefer to listen to positive things.
 
-Differentiate the child from his behaviour. If parents are
unhappy with the child's behaviour, tell the child. We need
to reinforce that we still love the child but not the
behaviour. The child needs to know that parents still love
them after being punished. Children do not mind being being
punished because they did something wrongly but they need
to know that their parents still love them. Tell your kids
that you love them and do not assume they know. Tell them
that you love them even when you punish them.
 
-Let him learn a new skill when he is ready. These include
learning to use the scissors, needle up to learning
multiplication tables. Different skills builds the childs
confidence in different areas of his life. We need to build
up his social skills on how to make friends, motor skills
as in how to use the scissors, fork and knife. Others
include literacy skills and numeracy skill. Each has to be
taken one step at a time. This includes letting him try new
things.
 
-Create chances for them to speak up in front of the
family. This can help in public speaking and their
confidence in public in general. Start by doing this at
home. Once they can overcome the fear of speaking in front
of the family, you can extend to your friends and
relatives. Start somewhere. You could even let them start
by talking to another sibling or in the toilet. Encourage
them to speak up and you can learn about what they are
thinking about as well.
 
Try out these tips first!
 
 
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Cheng Cheng is a parenting expert with with two boys age 5
and 6. She has learnt a lot form books and other mothers.
She hopes to share her experiences and knowledge which will
definitely be useful to you. For more tips on parenting and