Bonnie Foshee
Empower Your Children: Teach Them How to Deal with Bullying
Watching a child become the victim of bullying can be one
of the most painful things that a parent has to deal with.
Frustration can lead way to anger as your plea to stop the
bullying falls on deaf ears. Feelings of helplessness can
overwhelm you as you realize that bullying is something
that you cannot protect your child from when he or she is
away from home. While it may seem like there is nothing
that you can do to protect your child, and reverse the
effects of the bullying on your child's self-esteem, there
is something very important that you can do. And it doesn't
involve going to the school or to the bully's parents.
At one time or another every child is victimized by
bullying. You were likely bullied as a child, and probably
took some part in bullying others. The truth of the matter
is that bullying is a natural part of growing up. It's
going to happen, and there's nothing that you can do to
prevent it. But you do play a role in determining whether
your child will be adversely affected by bullying, or if
they will merely brush it off.
The number one factor that will dictate how bullying
impacts your child is his or her self-esteem. A child with
high self-esteem will not pay as much attention to the
antics of bullies as those children with poor images of
themselves. To keep your child's self-esteem high, make
sure that they have a good social group to lean on. Enroll
them in sports and extra curricular activities that they
enjoy. A self-defense course like Taekwondo also builds a
child's self-esteem and teaches them control. Take an
interest in their work and make sure that they feel safe
and secure at home. Help them set goals and reward them
when they are reached.
Another thing that you can do to empower your child is to
teach them the psychology behind bullying so that they will
better understand it. Be sure to keep the conversation age
appropriate, and explain to your child why bullies feel the
need to pick on other kids. Explain to your child that
bullies try to make other people feel bad so that they can
feel better about themselves. If your child understands
that bullies are really very scared children with poor
social skills they will probably not be as scared of them.
In addition to helping your child understand why bullying
occurs, you need to teach him or her how to deal with it
when it does occur. As adults we know that bullies will
pass over kids that do not react to their bullying in favor
of kids who make the bullying more entertaining by becoming
upset. Keeping this in mind, if the abuse is only verbal,
teach your child to hold his head up high, walk away and
ignore the bully. Teach your child to be proud of who he
is. He should know he's a wonderful person that should be
treated with respect.
If there are signs of physical abuse, get involved
immediately. Ask your child whether he wants to talk to his
teacher or guidance counselor first, or if he would like
for you to do it. Stay calm as you talk to your son. You do
not want him to think you are angry or disappointed in him.
Ask questions to learn more details, such as, "Did he say
something to you before things got really bad?" Empathize
with your child's reaction, and tell him that you can see
why he is upset.
You can also teach him that fighting back just leads to
more problems. Teach him that acting brave and holding his
head high and walking away shows that he is not vulnerable
or weak. It shows pride in who he is; that he doesn't have
to drop down to the bully's level.
But more important than teaching them how to deal with the
bullying is to give them the tools to walk away from a
situation and not give another thought to the incident or
the bully. Again, this all comes back to self-esteem.
Self-esteem is the foundation of a happy childhood. Instill
self-esteem, and your child will thrive no matter what
adversity comes his or her way.
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Bonnie Foshee, Parenting Expert, If you haven't discovered
my 11 powerful parenting tips for a happy and successful
child, please go to:
