Kreg Enderson
Is It Important For Your Team Members To “Like” You?
The question of whether or not it is important for you to
be "liked" by your team is an interesting one. You will
find that your answer may indicate more about your
leadership style than you may think. Taking a look at your
leadership style will ultimately answer this question.
In one of our manager meetings, I threw this question out
to the 20 some leaders we had. I split them into 2 even
groups, and gave each team their position that they would
need to debate. One team needed to convince the other team
that it either was or was not important to be liked as a
leader. This was not only a lot of fun, but it also
revealed a great deal about the real feelings that some of
our managers had about this topic.
To take the position of "no", it is not important to be
liked, you could argue that you have "authority" over your
team. Even if they do not like you, they will do what you
ask of them. This takes us down the path of "positional
authority", or those that feel people should do things just
because your badge says "manager". My opinion is that this
is a short term strategy, and eventually team members will
undermine your authority in subtle but effective ways. You
will begin to see your team's performance decline and your
turnover increase.. People do not like to be forced into
doing anything as a general rule.
Now for the other side of the debate. Why would you be
more effective as a leader if your team liked you? Well,
let's look at a few reasons. First, is your effort the
same for your best friend as it is for a complete stranger?
Do you have as much determination to make a stranger look
good as you would your brother or sister? When we like our
manager, we are motivated to make them look good.
Second, are you effective as a leader even when you are not
present? Does your team work at the same pace and
intensity when you are on vacation as when you are in the
office. Your goal is to develop a team that works on
auto-pilot. Your presence is not required in order for
things to get done. When you have a great deal of respect
for your manager, you continue to focus on the same things
when she is away, as you do when she is present. Leading
through fear and intimidation only produces results when
you are present.
So how can you determine your leadership style? Well, the
best way is to look at your activities. Actions speak
louder than words. Either list your activities for a given
day, or check out a page of your "to-do" list. Add up all
the items that are "tasks", not requiring people to be
involved, in order to accomplish. Things like reports,
emails, etc. Then add the items together that do require
people, such as meetings and one on one's. I always
suggest that leaders always choose "people" over "process".
I know on some days you will have to spend more time with
tasks, but over an extended period of time it should be
people.
So my very strong opinion is that we should work on gaining
the trust and respect of our team members and peers. Your
job becomes much easier and you are more effective when
people are willing to go the extra distance "for you".
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