Linda Finkle
Make communication work for you
Jane and Bob have been working with their teams for a
couple of months, and they've really paid attention to
putting the right people in the right roles. However,
other problems can arise that don't have anything to do
with teams, leaders, and workstyles.
Differences in communication styles or the communication
styles themselves are often the cause of problems, rather
than the content that's being communicated. Often we see
these problems occur when the topic is difficult; no one
has trouble communicating around the success of the
project, the awards ceremony for the team, and the overall
good health of the company!
What if the topic is difficult?
When Jane and Bob need to discuss a problem, a broken
commitment, or a difficult situation, they use the
following formula.
CPR
* Content
* Pattern
* Relationship
Content
The first time a problem occurs, talk about the content –
what happened. Usually it's a single event, and it only
involves the here and now.
Pattern
The next time the problem occurs, talk about the pattern –
what has been happening over time. Patterns acknowledge
that problems have histories, and histories make a
difference. Frequent and continued violations affect the
other person's predictability and eventually upset trust
and respect.
Relationship
If the problem persists, talk about the relationship –
what's happening to us, and why does this keep recurring.
Relationship concerns are bigger than content or pattern.
The string of disappointments has caused you to lose trust
in the other person. You doubt his competency, you don't
respect or trust his promises, and it's affecting the way
you treat one another.
Clearing the air
Jane and Bob make communication work for them by being
clear about their expectations as well as about problems
that come up. You need to do the same. Don't be vague!!!
Be specific about what you want and by when.
Vague: "I need this finished right away." Clear: "I need
this research document complete and to me by Wednesday."
Vague: "It's important for you to play well with the other
departments." Clear: "In order for your department to work
effectively with _____ department, you need to discontinue
bad-mouthing or gossiping about the ________ department and
their problems to your staff. Discuss any issues you have
with that department head or with me."
Don't assume that because you made a statement or request
the other person has agreed. Ask her! "Monica, I'd like
this project completed and results to me by next Thursday.
Is there any reason you can't deliver it by then?" Confirm
with her that she not only will deliver what you requested,
but also by the date needed.
Tying it up
At the end of the conversation, ask the person to explain
to you what he believes you want. This provides you the
opportunity to make sure he heard you correctly, and, if
not, to change or modify what he thinks.
Often, the gap between your request and what you receive is
because of misunderstandings about the specifics.
Armed with the CPR (Content, Pattern, and Relationship) and
understanding the necessity of being clear, Jane and Bob
have the tools to build and maintain an effective work
environment with individuals who understand what's expected
of them.
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Linda Finkle, founder and CEO of IncedoGroup.com, works
with innovative leaders around the world who understand
that powerful cross-functional communication is the
strongest strategy for building organizational
effectiveness. There is no such things as “only a
communications issue”. Communication IS the issue. To
find out more, visit: http://www.IncedoGroup.com
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