Barbara Morris, R.Ph.
Aging Women and Parenting: The Case for Preparation
It's not news that the "golden years" of many older people,
especially women, are years hijacked by young family
members in need of care. It's not just boomers caring for
aging parents; it's aging parents caring for children of
their boomer aged children who for whatever reason do not
care for their own children.
A lengthy article in the local paper about local older
women who care for very young children was heartbreaking
and thought provoking.
One woman in is 92 - she gets around on a cane and raises
her great grandchildren. Other women in their seventies
with arthritis and other health problems severe enough to
require others to care for them, try their best to raise
typically active youngsters.
The story reinforced for me the reality that we don't know
what life will dish out - so we should be as ready as we
can for whatever happens.
The best way to do that is with foresight and preparation.
At least by midlife, assume life will be tough. That means
you cannot live day-to-day and just let life happen. If you
do that, life WILL just happen and your reward will be the
usual decline that eventually progresses into dependence.
I keep saying that aging is all about what goes on in your
head well before you are old, and it is. How well you age
is the result of how and what you think, the choices you
make and just plain gritty determination very early in your
life. It's knowing in your gut that you don't want to be a
burden. You know you want to be strong and healthy,
mentally and physically, for whatever comes along. You want
to be ready to take care of yourself and grandkids if need
be. Or your spouse, or someone totally unrelated who needs
help.
One other caution: do not allow your thinking to get "old"
by adopting "old" thinking of friends and family. We learn
from each other and old thinking can hasten the aging
process without your realizing it.
Aging well is not difficult. If over the years, you eat a
nutritious diet, take anti-oxidant supplements; if you
exercise regularly (nothing exotic - walking 30 minutes a
day on a treadmill will do) and challenge your mind with
activities that promote brain integrity instead of decline
- you can say, "I've done the best I can to be the best
that I can." And you will be the best you can be.
Your foresight and determination will make a huge
difference in your older years and in the lives of others
who may depend on you. If one day you have to parent your
great grandkids, it could turn out to be a joy instead of a
millstone if you are mentally and physically up to the
task. You can be in charge of your circumstances if you
take charge of your aging process while you are still able
to do so.
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Barbara Morris is a pharmacist and author of Put Old on
Hold. Visit her website at http://www.PutOldonHold.com ,
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