Christine Conners
Teaching Our Children the Value of Work
Copyright (c) 2007 Christine Conners
There has been a lot of discussion recently about whether
children today are more self-centered than children of
previous generations. Researchers such as Dr. Jean Twenge
argue that not only are they more self-centered, they are
also more miserable. Parents are perplexed by the
research. "Have we not given our children everything they
need to be happy?"
As parents we feel the constant pressure to indulge our
children in sports and after school activities. We watch
as other parents race their children back and forth across
town to classes, clubs, sports, and academic advancement
programs. When we opt out, other parents apply pressure,
"Aren't you going to put Jessica in soccer this year?"
To be honest, I have never seen an extra curricular
activity I didn't like. From horseback riding, to karate,
baseball, swimming, math team, dance, and soccer, I happen
to think they're all great. But involving our children in
too many of these activities keeps them from learning the
most important lesson they will need for future success:
the value of work.
Teaching a child to work begins at an early age. I imagine
that dual income families have an easier time recognizing
this because they simply can't do everything with the
limited time available at the end of the day. But those of
us at home might make the mistake of thinking all the
chores at home are our duty and feel guilty even
considering asking our children for help. Think again.
Sociologists Scott Coltrane and Michele Adams found that
school-aged children who do chores with their fathers get
along better with peers and have more friends. They also
found that they are less likely to disobey teachers, cause
trouble at school, and are happier and more outgoing.
I've known parents who require their children to do chores
only when they behave badly. While I have no problem with
using chores as punishment, children should still be
expected to participate in the operation of the household
on a regular basis regardless of behavior. Chores, while
not always pleasant, are an essential part of life.
Always keep in mind that you are raising a future mother,
father, and spouse. What you teach them about the division
of chores will be carried with them into their own
families. So get started early. Your role in life is not to
be a pathetic martyr. If you'd like to teach your son to
never lift a hand once he is married, then do everything
for him now. If you want to suggest to your daughter that
being a mother is dreary and dirty work, do everything for
her today. However, if you'd rather teach your kids that a
family needs to work together to serve each other, then
give them age-appropriate tasks as soon as they are able to
handle them. In doing so, you will teach them the value of
work.
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Christine Conners is the author of several books including
"From High Heels to Bunny Slippers: Surviving the
Transition from Career to Home". Christine is a
psychotherapist and mother of four who is helping at-home
parents "bloom where they are planted". Visit Christine
.
